I Wont Rest
by CherryBlossem1233
Summary: He hung them. Shot them. He killed them. Did she scream? Did Temari scream? What about Amelia? Did she scream for her daddy? Did she yell at her uncle? Did she feel pain? "Where are they Kankuro." Kakashi demanded.


He sat with his back against the padded wall, it was cold against his neck. He turned so his face was touching the wall. He brought his bounded hands to his forehead and scraped his arms across it. They had taken the backwards jacket off of him a few weeks ago, but he had become accustomed to it. He felt naked without it. His doctor knocked quietly before she stepped into the room. "Hatake, you have another letter," she said gently.

His mood seemed to pick up instantly. He shrugged off the jacket and crawled awkwardly to door and snatched the letter. He examined it closely though he already knew who it was from. He held it close to his face, then far away. His doctor laughed silently as if her humor would set him off. She stayed by the door while he stood up. He was taller then her, but he slouched making him an inch or so shorter.

He walked over to his bed and sat down. Slowly he dragged his thumb under the flap of the envelope, tugging gently when he got to the center where the flap was glued to the rest. He opened it and a mixture of perfume and the smell of the envelope engulfed him. He inhaled deeply not wanted to get the smell go. He smiled and reached in and retrieved the letter.

His doctor sat next to him and asked if he would read it aloud. He looked at her cautiously, with a strange look. He coughed, clearing his throat and then began the letter:

_Kakashi... _

_ Living with you not here is beginning to become unbearable. But, I'll survive. We'll survive. I sent you another picture of Amelia. She's getting so big. She's finally started school, and has become quite popular. She has several of your qualities. Everyday I'm reminded more and more of you in her. Every night she has me tell her stories of you. She tells me how she can't wait to see her daddy again. She misses you as much as I do. She carries a picture of you around with her everywhere she goes. It's adorable. Of course, my brother's aren't to fond of the idea, but like you, she tells them she doesn't care. Like me, she tells them to mind their own business because she loves you. We keep counting down the days until your able to come home. Just remember, we have you in our minds. Keep us in yours. We love you, and we will wait patiently for your reply. But we won't wait very patiently for your return._

_Temari._

He picked up the envelope and retrieved the picture of his daughter and fiance. He put them on the table next to his bed with all of the others.

"It seems to me like you have a beautiful life waiting for you when you get home." His doctor smiled at him. He never took his eyes off the picture. He couldn't believe how fast she was growing. Temari sent him a picture of the two every month. He loved them both.

"Yeah." One word responses were usual with Kakashi, unless he was reading the letters. If the letters weren't being read, there was no life in his voice. He put the letter in the box with the rest. Four years worth of letters, once a week. They were starting pile up. All he had was one more year. If he could pass the Psych evaluation, then he was a free man.

His doctor smiled again. "Kakashi? It's time for you to clean up." She looked at her watch. "We have about a half hour before supper is served. So hurry please." She stood up and walked toward the door. "Kakashi?" He looked up at her. "Don't worry, these last months will go by faster then you realize."

"Thanks." He stood up straight and popped his back. He tossed the jacket on to the bed. Another thing he felt naked with out having on was his mask. He had lived with it since he was a child. Since he first started hearing the voices. They told him that if anyone saw his face they would get him.

He didn't know what they would get him for, but that they would get him. He slid it up his face to the brim of his nose and then he walked to his bathroom. It was white as well. He had gained trust since being here. He was granted permission to have a toothbrush, toothpaste, mouthwash, soap, and a razor. It took almost four years to get them to allow him to have a razor. But for good behavior he got it.

He washed his face and hands then dried them with a towel. He walked back out and slid on new sweat pants. He had gotten comfortable with the color white. He wore nothing but white. His sweats and a white t-shirt. His room was white, and padded. His bed spread was white, his pillows were white. Even his shower curtain was white, his toothbrush, toothpaste, mouthwash, and razor were all white. Everything he saw was white.

About two years into his stay here, he asked his doctor why everything was white. He asked: "What if someone were to attempt something? Wouldn't the blood be a pain to clean up?" she contemplated the question.

She told him that they used white because it was easy to tell if there were germs on it. She said that if blood had gotten on anything they had cleaning crews, the blankets and sheets were thrown away, and bleach was used to clean things. She didn't know all of the details the crew used, but she imagined that if the blood wouldn't come up then it would be replaced. The hospital was a clean place. Nothing was dirty except the people.

Kakashi liked to be clean. He didn't like the feel of being dirty. He laid on his bed and stared at the white ceiling. Sometimes the light would reflect and the way it reacted with his retinas he would see little shapes. Sometimes he saw faces, sometimes he saw different things. He once saw his doctor, he frequently saw his daughter and fiance, he saw his father frequently as well. He hated that sight. When he first arrived, the mentioning of his father, the sight of his father, the thought of his father set him off. It sent him into a fiery rage.

He would "throw fits" and bang his head against the floor, attack the guards, once he even attacked his doctor. Every time he looks at her now he see's the scar he left of her face. He feels bad for it now, but for months when she was scared to even look at him with out a guard near her he laughed. He laughed maniacally, he laughed like no one was around to hear. He thought she deserved it, served her right for bringing up the man who shoved him over the edge to insanity.

His doctor knocked again. "Kakashi, it's time for supper."

He stood up and walked over to her. The food seemed to get more bearable with time. At first all he could think of was Temari's cooking. Now, he could hardly remember the taste of chocolate milk. He couldn't remember the way his favorite meal tasted. Being away so long changed him. The voices in his head got quieter and quieter with the more time he spent in the Asylum. With the quieter they got, the quieter he got.

At first he would blab his mouth to his doctor about anything. She could ask him any question in the work and he would answer it to the best of his abilities. After dinner he went to his room and wrote his response to his family, then he did was he always does. He sat and waited for the next letter. When he slept he dreamed, he dreamed of what his life would be like out of this place, he dreamed that he would be able to watch his daughter grow and that he and Temari would finally get married and they would grow old. He dreamed that when his daughter was old enough she would marry and bless him with grandchildren.

In his waking state he dismissed that thought, he decided he could wait a long long while before being called grandpa. He didn't want his little girl to grow any faster then she already was. He hated being away from her, he hated being away from Temari. He hated where he was and he couldn't wait to get out.

As the month's passed his letter box got more and more full, until suddenly they stopped. He wait a couple weeks, but after about the third week with out a letter he began to get frantic. The voices got louder, but he suppressed them. He made them back off. He wrote her a letter everyday. He began to sound more and more desperate in his letters. When his six month's had passed he was on the brink of insanity again. He needed to get out, he needed to know that she was still waiting for him. He needed to know that she still loved him. He needed to know that his daughter was okay.

He tried not to let his panic and his fear show. He tried to keep himself contained, at least until he got out. When he got out he could do nearly anything. When he got out he could find them. On his last day he thought about what he would do. Where he would go first. His best bet would be to go to Kankuro's. At least Kankuro didn't hate him, and he would tell him where Temari and his daughter were. He had everything packed ready to go the night before.

His doctor told him that he could leave at noon the next day, if someone were to pick him up. She allowed him to call and arrange for a driver. When he did, he called Sakura, an old friend of his. He had known her for a long while, she didn't like Temari or the thought that he had a daughter with her. So they avoided all talk of that subject.

When she came to pick him up he put his box in the trunk and got into the passenger side. "White isn't a very suiting color on you Kakashi." were the first words she said to him. Not 'oh it's so great to see you!' or 'you look better' or anything along those lines.

He looked down and saw that he didn't bother to change his outfit. He couldn't even remember what he wore when he first got there. The white was all he knew, it was all he remembered. It was comforting to him. They rode in silence all the way to Kankuro's house. When she dropped him off, she left, with out a single goodbye.

He walked up to the house and took a deep breath before knocking. It was as if Kankuro had been waiting for him with the quickness he answered. Kankuro smiled weakly as if he were the bearer of bad news. He looked as if he were trying not to cry.

Kakashi fought to find his voice. "Where's Temari?"

"Kakashi..." Kankuro started. "Temari and Amelia... They..." Tears started running down Kankuro's cheek. Kakashi went wide eyed. He snapped. The voices came flooding back. _She left you. She killed herself. You were to much for her. She murdered your daughter and herself. No the other brother did it. He went a little nuts. He was always a bit on the wild side. He had to much to drink and they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. He hung them. Shot them. He killed them. Did she scream? Did Temari scream? What about Amelia? Did she scream for her daddy? Did she yell at her uncle? Did she feel pain?_

"Where are they Kankuro." he demanded.

"Kakashi, there was a robbery at the house. The man who did it... He killed them." Kakashi felt his knees go weak. He reached for the railing of the door but he fell to the ground anyway.

_So it wasn't the brother. Did they ever find the man? Is he still running rampant? Did your daughter and fiance get murdered by a man who is still walking around free? Did he get arrested then was set free by bail? _

"The man...?" Kakashi asked when he was able to focus. His head was in his hands and his elbows were on his knees.

"No. No one saw anything, the man got away. They have no leads, they don't know anything."

_You have to find him. Do it Kakashi! Do it now!_


End file.
